How I divorced my wife in Islam

Islam is the only religion where you can end up in a situation wondering if you are committing adultery with your own wife

But you’re just a bad Muslim!

The reason I share this personal story is not to show that we had conflicts. It is to show you how Islam instead of helping causes additional suffering for many couples.

I wondered over and over again would it be better to leave her, despite having kids together, and despite we still loved each other and wanted to work it out

I had crossed a metaphysical boundary by saying ‘divorce’ three times, making our marriage magically void.

Why we stayed together

We both didn’t want to break up. I self-justified that I was really angry when I said talaq. But who isn’t? It doesn’t usually happen under ideal conditions.

The thought of breaking up and destroying our entire life together over a few words uttered in a moment of haste was far too heavy a cost for me to swallow

Eventually I decided to ignore my guilt and accepted we will stay together. I told myself Allah knows this was better for the family and that we were better off together, for the sake of all involved. I made myself think that Allah wouldn’t want us breaking up over this.

A better way

A better divorce system would have a mandatory waiting period, so that it’s not rushed into or taken in haste. This is how it works in many countries: you need to be separated for 6 months before you can get a divorce. It gives you time to work out how life will be without each other or get back together.

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